When I turned 22, I was under the impression that much of my self-identity was flimsy. I felt that I had no solid sense of self outside of the collective opinions of family and friends, and often acted like a passenger in my own life. This saddened me deeply, but was what prompted me to come up with some personal values that would guide my future decision making and keep me grounded in general. I reckoned my future self would appreciate that, and knew that if I didn’t try to take charge of my life in some way, I would never take real pride in myself or hold myself accountable for my successes and failures.
These were the personal values I set:
- Humility: be able to think of others as more significant than you.
This was inspired by a biblical verse (Philippians 2: 3-4) that says, “3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” - Empathy: try to understand and share the feelings of another.
This was linked to the value of humility. I felt it was important to meet, connect with and learn from people with different backgrounds and experiences.
- Endurance: the ability to withstand hardship or adversity.
I felt like a quitter who was used to soft life (LOL), and believed myself incapable of surviving hard times. - Diligence: steady, earnest, and energetic effort /devoted and painstaking work and application to accomplish an undertaking.
This was in tandem with endurance. I wanted to be confident in my ability to be consistent and see things through to an acceptable end. - Healthy Perspective: a particular fair / accurate way of viewing things informed by your experience, knowledge and personality.
This was my favourite value that I’ve committed to building within myself forever. I will carry it forward for life.
I’m 26 now and about to experience major change. I’m very glad to note that my initial desire to develop a sense of direction and grow my decision making skills has been fulfilled! I no longer feel like a passenger in my own life, nor do I feel a sense of dread when thinking about the future, in general. I think it’s time to re-evaluate my values and see what’ll apply for this next phase of life.
Over the past 4 years, I have worked in different communities and settings with people from various backgrounds and learnt a lot! I had chances to grow in each of the values I set for myself and feel so proud of my improvement so far. My focus now is on learning how to enjoy myself and thrive. This is crucial for me because I’ve spent enough years toiling for next to nothing (how dramatic?) enough is enough (lol)! I must reclaim the years of fun lost and my current values will be dedicated to manifesting that.
So, the values I must keep for the next year or more are:
- Healthy Perspective: a particular fair / accurate way of viewing things informed by your experience, knowledge and personality
- Human Connection: keep in touch with your friends and family, and make more friends
- Happiness: keep track of the things that make you smile, laugh or feel warm inside, and do more of them!
- Healing: focus on actions that will keep you feeling healthy mentally, spiritually and physically
- Highly Skilled: select a couple of skills to learn and master
Having these new values doesn’t mean I’ll discard the previous ones, I’ll simply build on the old with a stronger focus on the new for they are very relevant to the next phase of my life. I’ll check in after a year or two to see how things went.
Wish me luck!